Money over Bullshit was the name of the song. I couldn’t remember it for the life of me. I searched the whole Nas catalog looking for this quote:
“Seen niggas live-laugh-party- and die in that very same corner.”
It had been stuck in my head all of last semester.
The liquor store was right there. The weedman’s house was right there. The Chinese takeout spot was right there! And all three could be delivered for a nominal fee….
…This was life. Nothing more than a numb cycle full of mediocre grades, mindless social networking, and taking the “L” in every sense of the word.
I sat in a house one block away from the gymnasim. The same gymnasium where the class of 2010 was walking the stage. I followed on twitter as they updated constantly. And when my kinfolk asked me if I was going to the graduation… I don’t remember my exact answer, but I can tell you this:
I ended up playing NBA 2K10 on Playstation 3…again….and again…and again.
The highlight of my day was the three games I played. All of them went into overtime. I lost all three. I took the “L”.
“Overtime” must have been the word of the day. It made sense: everyone in the house would be serving at least one semester extra at this fine institution. We all had different feelings as to what this meant. Some saw it as an extension on time to manifest their “master plan”. A couple people believed that 4 1/2 to 5 years is becoming the norm due to financial situations, and still, others such as myself saw it as another societal obstacle to keep me away from the things that truly matter: health, family, and pursuit of personal fulfillment.
Whatever the outlook, we were all coming from the same position: not the position of 2nd year seniors, but the position of that very same corner… You know what corner I’m talking about… the corner where the liquor store is right there. The weedman’s house is right there. The Chinese takeout spot is right there! And all three can be delivered for a nominal fee….
We were living- laughing- and partying in that very same corner. Dying? naw, we were still young, healthy, and very much alive physically. But in a sense, a part of us was dead: that dream of getting off of this “corner” called college on schedule was dead.
We spent time, energy, and good money on bullshit. We used the five cent black plastic bags from the corner store to dump our blunt guts, we recorded tracks for a mixtape that was set to drop on the 4th of Nebuary, and we ate takeout… often. This was us living, laughing, and partying. It was a seemingly fast lifestyle, although we never went anywhere. And because of this, the “death” came slow.
Each of us slowly realized, it sucks that we won’t graduate with the people we came into college with. We battled the mixed emotions of being happy for our “classmates”, but all the while, mad at ourselves.
This summer will cause us to leave that same corner, just to return in the fall.
A part of me wants to ask Nas: is it possible for an individual to live, laugh, and party in the same corner without dying? Then again, I don’t want to know: I just want to get away from that same corner. After all, its money over bullshit. And college (that same corner) costs too much.
this Nas video inspired this train of thought