Why is it so much easier to help other people than myself ?

Why is it so much easier to help other people than myself ?

You know that spot on your back where your arms don’t reach? That one spot that always itches but you can never scratch-until you get one of those plastic back scratchers … But of course- that doesn’t suffice: that’s plastic dawg!

Yea, that spot on your back where your arms don’t reach, that’s a constant reminder that human beings are social creatures. We need someone to scratch our backs… I mean, we could use trees like California Brown bears do; at least the tree is living… I bet a that’s more sufficient than an inanimate object … I digress.

So, my itching- or, uh- burning question: Why is it so much easier to help other people than it is to help myself ?

I was awarded a shiny-new parking ticket after taking these young men to get educational resources.
I was awarded a shiny-new parking ticket after taking these young men, amongst other students, to a Saturday afternoon full of workshops full of educational resources.

The first thing I did when I came to the realization of this conundrum: post it as my facebook status … and sent a tweet out carrying the same sentiment.

“It is called being selfless. And it is a good thing, for when we lend a hand to another, we are in essence helping to improve ourselves.” Benny “Uncle Punch” Andrews said in reply to my post.

“For two reasons. The selfless part like Bennie said and also it is harder to see the issues in oneself”- Andrew Meyer.

How true…

It’s been killing me all week: I can hold it down for the community, for my friends, for my family … but when it comes to self-It never comes down to self…

It’s not a total mutilation of self in order to save the world… na, I’m not that nice. It’s not a: save the world, so I can say I saved the world kind of thing either… Na, I’m not that egotistical. This persona is a product of being aware: I see the bigger picture. I see the young person who is affected by the parents who are unemployed … that… Or it’s the elder junkie who is a product of a broken school system, hit a schnide in the game, turned to whatever drugs were readily available in the community… and then whallah! You have my surroundings.

And as bad I want to get out of here, that’s just scratching my own back… I want my surroundings to change. So, when I walk out the door in the morning I scratch the backs of fiends , “baby mommas” , marginalized youth, ect, ect… And they say it all comes back… They never said it would come back to haunt me.

It’s messing with my mind.

“you fall in the same line as a psychologist with this one. Unable to solve their own problems.”- @Truth_Inception.

He’s right. I can give people the shirt off my back, but have trouble asking for it in return.

“Yes. I dedicated a week to myself and it was the hardest things ever. Very necessary though.”- @OhhMissRiss

She’s right… that’s what I need.

It’s crunch time. I’m 24 ½. It’s time to lock in and focus on something great. But all I seem to care about is socializing, the internet, and socializing via the internet!


I saw this tweet the other day, it simply said that “accomplishments are better than compliments”… and I’m more than sure it’s some song lyrics that were tweeted out of context and quotations- nonetheless, the statement resonated…

I have a number of big time accomplishments within my grasp (graduating, publishing a book, living to be 25…)

And all of it seems so simple: Just do it, NIKE style. But every time I go to move forward… those same friends that are better than back scratchers- are holding me back. They aren’t exactly back stabbers, but nonetheless, being sociable and helping others and wanting to show the world that I’m solid ( That I have a strong backbone)… all of that is holding me back.

So I had to investigate- I had to find someone who has been in my position before. Someone that was destined for greatness, but was suffering from minor setbacks …

So I googled quotes from Michael Jordan:

To be successful you have to be selfish, or else you never achieve. And once you get to your highest level, then you have to be unselfish.”- Michael Jordan

… I’ll take the words of the man who wore number 23 on his back …



3 thoughts on “Why is it so much easier to help other people than myself ?

  1. You don’t need to be selfish, you need to be selfless with yourself. First see yourself as a separate entity, one that needs you and all your attention. I say that, yet I find myself in the same boat you speak of. Perhaps you should seek balance, remembering that you can’t help others if you don’t help yourself first.

  2. It’s like when the flight attendants instruct you to secure your own oxygen before you go and assist your neighbor. If you don’t you just might pass out mid assistance…then 2 people are out of oxygen and a 3rd party has to find the both of you.

    Taking proper care of your self can be motivation to others. Leading by example tends to be the most effective. Especially when your intentions are as solid as yours are.

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